Jokes | 笑话

一个男孩和一个女孩.

一个女孩和一个男孩吃汉堡。 男孩对女孩说：我要告诉你一件事！ 女孩说：不要跟我说话在我吃的时候，当我吃我的汉堡，那么你就可以谈。 所以，当他们吃完了女孩问男孩：“现在你想说什么呢？” 男孩说：“恩，我是说，有一只蟑螂在你的汉堡里!"

Yīgè nǚhái hé yīgè nánhái chī hànbǎo. Nánhái shuō nǚhái: Wǒ yào gàosù nǐ yī jiàn shì! Nǚhái shuō: Bùyào gēn wǒ shuōhuà zài wǒ chī de shíhòu, dāng wǒ chī wǒ de hànbǎo, nàme nǐ jiù kěyǐ tán. Suǒyǐ, dāng tāmen chī wánliǎo nǚhái wèn nánhái:“Xiànzài nǐ xiǎng shuō shénme ne?” Nánhái shuō:“Ēn, wǒ shì shuō, yǒuyī zhǐ zhāngláng zài nǐ de hànbǎo lǐ!"

A boy and a girl. A girl and a boy eating hamburger. The boy told the girl: I want to tell you one thing! The girl said: Do not talk to me when I eat, when I eat my burger, then you can talk. So, when they finished the girl asked the boy: "Now you want to say?" The boy said: "Well, I mean, there was a cockroach in your hamburger!"

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老师问：如果你只得一日的寿命，你最想到那里去？ 学生答：我会将最后的一天留在这间学校，这个课室。 老师：好感动啊?现在竟然有学生这般好学。 学生：因为我在课室里有"渡日如年"的感觉啊！

Lǎoshī wèn: Rúguǒ nǐ zhǐdé yī rì de shòumìng, nǐ zuì xiǎngdào nàli qù? Xuésheng dá: Wǒ huì jiāng zuìhòu de yītiān liú zài zhè jiān xuéxiào, zhègè kè shì. Lǎoshī: Hǎogǎn dòng a? Xiànzài jìngrán yǒu xuésheng zhè bān hǎo xué. Xuésheng: Yīnwei wǒ zài kè shì lǐ yǒu "dù rì rú nián" de gǎnjué a!

Teacher: If you had just one day to live, where would you go? Student: I would spend my last day in school, in this classroom. Teacher: Oh! How touching! Such an eager student! Student: Because time in this class goes so slowly, one day feels like a year!

Note: The use of proverb "dù rì rú nián"(渡日如年) which is said when time goes slowly – “a day like a year”.

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有一对夫妻，

他们出去吃饭，妻子突然大叫：啊！我忘了关瓦斯，可能会发生火灾！

丈夫却安慰她说：没关系，反正我也忘了关洗手檯的水。

妻子：．．． ．．．

Yǒu yīduì fūqī,

tāmen chūqù chīfàn, qīzi tūrán dà jiào: "A! Wǒ wàng le guān wǎsī, kěnéng huì fāshēng huǒzāi!"

Zhàngfu què ānwèi tā shuō: "Méiguānxi, fǎnzhèng wǒ yě wàng le guān xǐ shǒu tái de shuǐ."

Qīzi: !!!?

There was a married couple who went out for dinner. Suddenly the wife exclaimed, "Oh! I forgot to turn off the gas! There could be a fire!"

The husband tried to comfort her by saying, "Don’t worry about it. In any case, I also forgot to turn off the water faucet."

Wife: !!!?

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上对外汉语课，老师提问： “同学们，你们每人说一个汉语成语，形容老师今天很开心很高兴的样子。” 学生很活跃： “眉开眼笑” “开怀大笑” “兴高采烈”……。 老师接着说， “说出来的成语里要含有数字， 比如一、二、三、四……。” 一位留学生反应很快，大声抢答： “老师，含笑九泉!”

shàng duìwài hànyǔ kè, lǎoshī tíwèn: “Tóngxuémen, nǐmen měi rén shuō yīgè hànyǔ chéngyǔ, xíngróng lǎoshī jīntiān hěn kāixīn hěn gāoxìng de yàngzi.” Xuéshēng hěn huóyuè: “Méikāiyǎnxiào” “kāihuái dà xiào” “xìnggāocǎiliè”……. Lǎoshī jiēzhe shuō, “shuō chūlái de chéngyǔ lǐ yào hányǒu shùzì, bǐrú yī, èr, sān, sì…….” Yī wèi liúxuéshēng fǎnyìng hěn kuài, dàshēng qiǎngdá: “Lǎoshī, hánxiào jiǔquán!”

At a foreign Language class, the teacher asked: "Students, each of you say a Chinese idiom describing a teacher who is very happy and cheerful." Students are very active: "Be all smiles" "Laugh a hearty laugh" "In great delight" ... The teacher then said, "In the idiom there should be a number, such as one, two, three, four ...." One student answered quickly and loudly: "Teacher, smile in the underworld!"

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成绩单 |Chéng jī dān

“你的成绩单在哪里？” 父亲质问刚从学校回来的孩子。 “Nǐ de chéng jī dān zài nǎ lǐ ? Fù qīn zhì wèn gāng cóng xué xiào huí lái de hái zi.

"Where is your report card?", a father asks a child who has just come from school.

“我把它借给汤姆，让他吓唬一下自己的父母！” “Wǒ bǎ tā jiè gěi tāng mǔ, ràng tā xià hǔ yī xià zì jǐ de fù mǔ!” "I have given in to Tom, so that he could scare his parents a little bit."